


Grey's Anatomy: The Deleted Scenes

by orphan_account



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Drama, Episode Tag, F/M, Fluff, Missing Scene, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-15 07:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1295818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever wondered what happened before, or after an episode? What about a missing scene? These are the deleted scenes of Grey's Anatomy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Hard Day's Night

**Author's Note:**

> *I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Really wish I did*
> 
> **OK Here is how this is going to work. Each chapter will be a one shot only. They will be in order of the episodes on the show. So each chapter will be a stand-alone story. It could be a scene right before the episode started, somewhere in the middle or at the end of the episode. All MerDer, some chapters might focus only on Meredith or Derek but it depends on the episode. I'm doing this off Netflix so I don't have Season 9 yet. Please tell me what you think. Good idea, bad idea? Do you like it, do you not like it? I love feedback. :) **

 

 

 

A Hard Day's Night-Season 1, Episode 1

Meredith pushed the heavy front door open and made her way into her mother's home. Correction,  _her_  home. She took a deep breath and looked around at the boxes piled up, the dusty furniture and dirty floors. If she wanted this place to be acceptable for roommates she knew there would be a lot of cleaning to be done. She was exhausted from her first shift. She was still coming down off her high of her first surgery. Of course it could also be that she got to work with Dr. Shepherd. Her mind drifted to the first time they met.

_______

She walked into the bar that looked like a good place to get a drink. Her first day as a surgeon was tomorrow and she knew she was going to need a little tequila to get through it. Meredith sat down on one of the stools near the bar.

"Straight tequila." She said as she sat down.

"Straight tequila? You are going to be sorry in the morning." The bartender said as he poured her drink.

"I'm always sorry in the morning" She smiled, "But tomorrow I start my first day at work so keep them coming." She raised her glass in a mini-toast to the bartender and sipped at her drink. The familiar burn sliding down her throat.

"Double scotch single malt please." A male voice came from beside her, "So is this a good place to hang out?" He asked.

"Ya know what I've never been here before." She said hoping he'd leave her alone. He was handsome and sexy but tonight she really didn't want to do anything stupid so she was trying to keep to herself.

"Oh I haven't either. First time here." He said, "I'm new in town. I've never been to Seattle." He sat on the stool and turned to face Meredith, "I have a new job so…" He trailed off while staring at her. There was something that he felt physically pulling him to her. She was wearing a sexy black dress that gave him just the right amount of cleavage to keep his attention. After a moment of no response from her he sighed, "You're ignoring me."

Meredith noticed the bartender turn a bit to make sure everything was alright, "Um. Trying to." She said truthfully.

"You shouldn't ignore me." He flashed her a smile that she wanted to burn into her memory.

"And why not?" She knew that her plans of not doing anything stupid were slowly eroding away.

"Because I'm someone you need to know to get to love." He said with another flirty smile. She turned her head to look at him and for the first time she saw his blue eyes sparkle.

She smiled at him, "Really?"

"Oh yes." He replied as he shifted in his seat to scoot closer to her.

Meredith nodded her head, "So if I know you, I'll love you?" She flirted.

"Oh yes." He repeated.

"You really like yourself huh?" She said.

He took a sip of his drink, "Just hiding my pain." He laughed softly, "So what's your story?"

"I don't have a story. I'm just a girl in a bar." Meredith now knew all plans of not doing anything stupid tonight were completely gone. She wanted to get lost in those blue eyes and run her fingers through his hair.

He held up his scotch, "I'm just a guy in a bar." He smiled back. The two continued on their flirting back and forth until she was sure she was done for the night.

Pushing her last glass back on the bar she stood up, "So would you like to continue this?" She said suggestively. The man nodded his head, "Your place or mine?" She asked.

"Yours." He said paying the tab for both of them. He put his arm around her waist and led the two of them out of the bar, "What's your name?" He asked.

"Meredith." She smiled.

"Derek." He said as he brushed a strand of hair away from her face. She leaned against the outer wall of the bar as he leaned in close to her. Their lips barely touching. Her hands wound their way up around his neck and into his hair pulling his head closer to her until his mouth was crushing hers. He put on hand on the wall behind her for support and wrapped the other around her waist. She could feel his arousal between her legs through his pants. Their first kiss seemed to go on for an eternity. When they finally separated she had to catch her breath. Never had she felt a kiss like this before. This was no ordinary guy in a bar. He was wrong. She didn't have to get to know him to love him. All she had to do was kiss him and her heart wouldn't stop telling her how much she loved him. Even when her mind argued that he was just a guy in a bar.


	2. The First Cut is the Deepest

The First Cut Is The Deepest-Season 1, Episode 2

_'A penis. In a cooler. I really have to lug this around all day long?_ ' Meredith thought to herself. ' _Is this really what my internship is all about? Yesterday I didn't do anything and today I get to tote around a penis. Great. My mother would be so proud._ ' The ding from the elevator pulled her from her thoughts. She pressed the button for her floor and leaned her head back. She sighed softly when the elevator stopped at the second floor and then the third.  _'Come on. Really. I just need to get to the fifth. By this time I could have walked up there_.' Suddenly the elevator shuddered to a quick stop. Meredith's head snapped up, her eyes wide.

"It's OK. Probably just got stuck. It happens sometimes in this one. It's the oldest and every now and then it needs a ten minute rest." Derek said. Meredith didn't see him ever get on but then again she really wasn't paying close attention to the occupants.

"So this has happened before and no one has thought to fix it?" She asked still slightly scared she would fall to her death.

"You OK?" He asked.

"Yea I'm just thinking that tomorrows headline will read 'Intern dies in freak elevator accident while holding a severed penis'." She joked.

"I don't think they'd print the part about the penis." Derek said seriously.

Meredith looked at him and smiled, "Yes well…" She sighed.

"Drop your penis." He took the few steps towards her closing the distance between them.

"Excuse me?" Meredith looked at him trying to figure out what he was going to do.

"Drop your penis." He repeated as he pressed his body against hers.

Meredith carefully lowered the cooler. She could feel Derek's hands slide up her back pulling her tightly to him. Unconsciously she licked her lips in anticipation of what she knew was coming. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he smiled at her.

"We can't keep doing this you know." She whispered.

"Can't keep doing what?" He asked innocently.

"You know." She leaned into him, "This."

"And what would 'this' be?" He asked wanting to hear her say it.

"I already told you I won't sleep with you again and we can't date." She recalled their conversation from earlier that morning.

"I didn't ask you out and I don't want to sleep with you right now. Right now I want to do this." He pressed his mouth to hers. Meredith's eyes fluttered closed while the kiss deepened. Soon she was lost in a whirlwind of lust. She wanted to rip of their scrubs and have sex right there but knew that if anyone caught them it could mean both of their jobs. So she settled for kissing him. Derek lifted her up and pressed her against the wall of the elevator. She wrapped her legs around his waist. She could feel how aroused he was and she knew he could feel the heat from her. His mouth moved from hers down her neck. She moaned softly as he licked her neck.

"Oh Derek." She sighed with her head leaned back. Lost in her own private paradise. She felt him push her shirt up so he could move to her breasts. She raised her arms above her head to allow her top to be slid off. Derek gently caressed her body with his hands while kissing every inch he could touch with his lips. Meredith kept her hands in his hair letting the waves of pleasure wash over her. She reached under his shirt and dragged her nails across his back causing him to let out a soft moan. Derek gently moved her from being against the wall to lying on the floor. He returned to her mouth thrusting his tongue inside. Meredith's hands gently followed Derek's body to the top of his scrub pants but was dismayed when she felt his hands stop her. Confused she pulled back and looked into his sparkling blue eyes.

"I..I..I don't have a condom with me." Derek managed to get out. He was panting and out of breath.

"OK." Meredith nodded, "More kissing then." She said pulling him back down to her. In the back of her mind she realized how respectful he was and how she kept finding more and more things about this man that made her love him. Any other man would have just kept on going until the last moment and pulled out but not Derek Shepherd. He was no ordinary man. Her thoughts were broken up by the feeling of his tongue on her chest. His name escaped her lips softer than a whisper. She felt his smile against her skin signaling he heard it just as she did. Meredith's pager went off bringing both of them back to reality. She grabbed her pager and tiled her head up so she could check who it was. Baily was waiting for her upstairs and she should have been there ten minutes ago. She put her head back down on the ground.

"So how long do you think this elevator has till it starts up again?" She asked. She wished that they could continue their rendezvous but knew that reality had to settle in.

Derek rolled off her and handed Meredith her scrub top, "Should be pretty soon. Here." He slowly stood up pulling her up with him.

Meredith slid her shirt over her head and tucked it back into her pants. Derek adjusted his scrubs and coat. Once they were both presentable again he leaned against the control panel, encircling her waist with one arm. He softly kissed her again. Suddenly the elevator started making noise and moving again. Meredith smiled and deepened the kiss for a few more lustful moments. Derek pulled back needing air and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"We should do this more often." He stated.

"We can't do this." She pulled out of his embrace, "You are my boss' boss." She sighed, "It's not right."

"But it feels so good." He teased.

Meredith was thankful the five finally lit up and the doors opened letting her get off on her floor. She stepped out of the elevator and turned back, "Aren't you getting off?" She asked confused as they were at the top floor.

"No." He just smiled as the doors closed in front of him. Derek moved away from the control panel with an ear to ear grin. He was positively ecstatic at the moment. He knew Meredith never saw him push the emergency stop button nor did she see him push it again to get the elevator moving. He just wanted to test out a theory of his. He knew she wouldn't be able to keep her lips or hands off him. Now he just proved himself right.


	3. Winning a Battle, Losing the War

Winning A Battle, Losing The War-Season 1, Episode 3

Meredith sat at the bar with Cristina beside her. It had been a long day and she had to deal with Alex stealing a surgery today. Then the little piss ant gloated about it in the locker room. And while she was dealing with it herself Derek just had to make an appearance. He had to show up like he was her boyfriend or something. Meredith took another shot of tequila.

"Men are jerks." She said to Cristina.

"Yup." She nodded in agreement.

"Ya know. Alex had the audacity to gloat today. To lean up behind me and tell me to smell the OR smell and how great surgery was today. Jerk." She sighed, "And then Shepherd shows up looking like he's going to clock Alex after I had already shoved him into a locker. And Alex leaves and Shepherd just stands there." She rambled.

"Did he say anything?" Cristina asked taking a swig of her beer.

"No. Nothing."

"Did you say anything?" Cristina asked wondering what happened in the locker room.

"No. I was going to but I didn't." Meredith explained.

"What were you going to say?" Cristina looked at Meredith trying to figure out where this was going.

"He saw Viper kiss me." Meredith put her head in her hands.

"Who the hell is Viper?" Cristina was now completely confused.

"Viper the bike guy from the ER." She clarified. She saw the confusion still in Cristina's eyes, "Guy came in with bike spokes in his side. Alex pulled them out and left me to stitch the guy up. I did and he just kissed me. I turned around and he was standing in the hall. He had seen the whole thing. Ugh." Meredith sighed.

"So you were going to talk about some other guy kissing you?" She asked.

"Yes. No. Well kind-of." Meredith rubbed her eyes with her hands, "I don't know. I was going to explain that it didn't mean anything and I didn't kiss him. He kissed me."

"Well, why didn't you?" Cristina asked.

"Because it's none of his business. Right? I mean we aren't dating so he doesn't need to know. Right?" Meredith was second guessing herself.

"Right." Cristina agreed.

"Then why do I feel bad that I didn't tell him anything when I had the chance." Meredith thought out loud.

"I don't know." Cristina checked her phone for the time, "C'mon. We have to go. Early shift in the morning." She got up from her chair and tossed a few dollars on the table for tip.

"Alright." Meredith sighed and stood up. The two women walked out of the bar, said their goodbyes and parted ways. Meredith watched as her friend hopped on her motorcycle and pulled out of the parking lot. She slowly walked to her car letting her head clear a bit.

"Fancy seeing you here." A familiar voice said from behind her.

"Of course you are here." She turned around to look at Derek.

"On the day I almost died I find you here." He smiled.

"Stop. I told you this isn't a game to me." She said. Derek leaned against the hood of Meredith's SUV, "We can't date." She stated.

"You know it would be fun." He said suggestively.

"Keep chasing me and you'll turn into a stalker." She opened the driver side door and tossed her purse across the seat.

"I like chasing you." Derek walked over and held her door open for her.

"But it's not a game." She slid into the front seat of her car.

"Just one date." He pleaded.

"No." She turned her car on and leaned back in the seat, "You don't get told no very often do you?" She inquired.

"You seem to say that word a lot to me." He stated not answering her question.

"Do you?" She asked again.

"Do I what?" He asked.

"Do you get told 'no' often?" She repeated.

"Not often. I'm a catch." He smiled at her.

"Oh really?"

"Yup. You just don't know it because you won't go out with me." He leaned on the door of the car.

"I won't go out with you because it's wrong. You know it, I know it, and Cristina even knows it." She rambled.

"Cristina knows? Huh. Didn't figure you for the kiss and tell type." He said jokingly.

"Yes she knows. Who else was I going to talk to about it? What is it with guys wanting to date me or kiss me or just be near me? When did I send out the signal that I'd like to be bothered by men?" She said sounding exasperated.

"So there is more than me and the patient in the ER?" Derek smirked.

"No. There was no guy in the ER. I didn't ask him to kiss me he just did. But see right there is a shining example of me not wanting to deal with a guy and I get put in the middle of it anyway." She sighed. She turned her head to look up at him, "Why? If there was would you be jealous?" She flirted.

"I don't get jealous. I know what I want and I go after it. Take my word for it." He leaned down close to her face and whispered, "You will date me. Just give it time." He kissed her softly on the cheek before standing up properly, "Drive safe." He smiled. Meredith sighed softly and pulled her door closed. She slowly began to back out of the parking space acutely aware that he was still standing there watching her every movement. Why oh why couldn't this have just stopped with a guy and girl in a bar? Why did it have to get complicated? She didn't want complicated. She just wanted simple, quick, forgettable fun and this is what she ended up with. If she was going to do anything about it she figured she'd have to take the stairs from now on and try to avoid Derek at work. Hopefully tomorrow she would be so tied up that she wouldn't even need to see him unless passing in the hallway. She couldn't handle many more days of this. She knew she was going to crack soon. That smile, that hair, that perfect way he kissed her. It was all too much and one of these times she knew she would agree to go out with him.


	4. No Man's Land

No Man's Land-Season 1, Episode 4

Meredith watched Derek talking to Mr. Cruz's wife. He was trying to apologize for Meredith's previous conversation with her. She watched as he kept glancing her way when he talked. Mr. Cruz's wife walked past Meredith without a word and into his room and sat by his bedside. She only wished she could have explained to her how much she will miss her husband once his memory is gone and how it will break her heart when he no longer remembers her in that field of red flowers, in that red dress. She felt Derek walk up beside her. Meredith wiped her hair from her eyes and turned to look at Derek. She wanted to say something. To at least apologize for overstepping but decided against it. He stood next to her silently waiting for her to say something. Instead she turned and walked back to the locker room without another thought. Methodically she peeled every poster of Izzie off the walls and lockers. The joke was old and Alex was being an ass. The door opened and softly shut behind her as she tossed the last picture in the trash can.

"Go ahead." She spun around on her heels to face Derek, "Say it. Yell at me for overstepping the line." She braced herself.

"I'm not going to yell at you." He said softly, "You know it was wrong. No sense in me telling you that." He took a step towards her, "I'm here about breakfast." He smiled.

"I told you what I had this morning. Cold pizza." She took off her coat and sat down on the bench in front of her locker.

"I want to know what you are having tomorrow." He leaned against the locker next to hers.

"Why are you so interested in my breakfast?" She placed her sneakers in the locker.

"Tomorrow morning. 6AM. Breakfast. With me." He said confident that she would break down and agree. Meredith just looked at him and sighed, "C'mon. It will be fun." He flirted.

"And if I say no?" She inquired. Derek took a seat beside her on the bench.

"Well, you have every right to say no but it won't be as much fun and I'll probably keep asking you what you had to eat every day so you might as well just go out with me and then I'll know what you had so there won't be a need for me to ask you during the day." He tilted his head slightly, "And it won't be in the hospital so you don't have to be worried about being seen with me." His eyes twinkled. Meredith's heart knew she wanted to see that twinkle all the time yet her mind was screaming to stop this before it starts. He stood up as the locker room door opened and a few interns filed in, "So that consult in the morning?" He asked covering up their prior conversation.

Meredith sighed, "Sure." She said nodding her head slightly. Her heart had won the battle and now her mind was immediately regretting the words she just said.

"Great." Derek smiled widely. He quickly exited the locker room not paying attention to the interns watching him leave.

Meredith groaned slightly to herself, and quickly changed out of her scrubs. She got her things ready to head home and had her keys in hand when Cristina came in the room.

"I had to call time of death on that nurse today." She said absently sitting down next to Meredith.

"Sorry." Meredith said.

"It's fine. I just. It was in front of everyone and I was just starting to like her and she was DNR." She rambled off getting her clothes out of her locker.

"You want to get a drink?" Meredith offered.

"No thanks. I'm not up for anything tonight." She slammed her locker shut and headed to the restroom to change her clothes.

Meredith walked out of the hospital with her date with Derek weighing on her mind. She wasn't sure she even agreed with herself when she said she'd go out with him. He never even told her where to meet him. Maybe it would be OK since they weren't at the hospital. Maybe it would be OK because it would stop him from chasing her. Meredith wasn't so sure she wanted him to stop chasing her. She thought about the date the entire ride home. Once home she ordered Chinese with Izzie and George and watched a few more surgery tapes, took her shower and got ready for bed. She stood in front of her closet looking at her clothes. Trying to figure out the best outfit for her date in the morning. She wanted to look nice but not too nice and she defiantly wanted to get it picked out now instead of in the morning. She wasn't sure how she was able to even match her clothes in the morning because it was always so hectic. After standing there for what seemed like forever she pulled the outfit out and laid it next to her purse, jean jacket and shoes. She jumped slightly when her phone rang unexpectedly.

"Hello." She said cradling it between her ear and her shoulder.

"6AM. There is this little place outside with a very pretty fountain in front. I'll be there." Derek said. Meredith could almost hear the smile over the phone.

"Better than cold pizza and left over grilled cheese?" She flirted.

"Much better." He answered.

Meredith smiled, "Alright. I'll see you there." She lied down on her bed, "I have to go. If I'm going to be up and ready for breakfast I need sleep."

"What are you wearing?" He suggestively asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She flirted back, "Goodnight." She smiled.

"Goodnight." He said softly.

Meredith pushed the end call button on her phone and set her alarm. Tomorrow morning should be interesting. Her head wanted her to back out of the date but her heart was telling her she should have agreed a long time ago. Her last thought before she closed her eyes was of Derek and her hopes of what would come after their breakfast date in the morning.

 


	5. Shake Your Groove Thing

Shake Your Groove Thing-Season 1, Episode 5

Derek's hands were intertwined in Meredith's hair as she sat on top of him in his car.

"You know it sounds like the party is winding down." He said running his fingers though her hair. He smiled as Meredith giggle slightly, "Listen to me." He said trying to get her attention.

"What?" She smiled back.

"We should probably sneak inside." He suggested. The crowd was getting smaller and the noise level was getting softer. He didn't want to get caught and have Meredith think this was all a mistake. After all, she's the one that suggested they go for a ride.

"We've done enough sneaking for the night. It was good sneaking but enough sneaking." She said making sure he knew she didn't regret it. He placed his hands on either side of her face admiring her.

"Yea." He said softly. He reached down and pulled his shirt up to cover her body, "We're pretty good sneakers." He said with a smile that made her heart melt.

Meredith pulled the shirt closed a bit and fastened a few buttons. Before she could thing again Derek's hands were in her hair one more time. Both of them were lost in their own world and neither one heard Baily walk up to car. Meredith leaned down to kiss Derek tenderly when they both jumped when someone knocked on the window. Embarrassed Derek and Meredith turned to the person knocking with silly grins on their faces as they came down from their high. Meredith and Derek's smiles faded as they saw Baily standing there with a stern look on her face.

"Ya mind moving this tail wagon? You're blocking me in." She said shortly as she walked away from the car.

Derek watched her leave, "Apparently not good enough." He said softly. Derek reached over to the driver's side to grab his pants.

Meredith rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly. Just what she needed. To get caught by Bailey. Once Derek had his pants on He slid out of the car from under Meredith. She sat in the passenger seat and slipped her pants on. Derek sat down in the driver's seat and moved his car so Bailey could get hers out of the parking spot. Once she left Derek backed his car back into its original spot.

"What are we going to do about that?" Meredith asked him.

"Nothing." Derek smiled hoping this would sweep under the rug.

"Derek what if she says something to the chief?" She asked taking his shirt off and putting hers back on.

"She won't." Derek took his shirt from Meredith and slipped it on, "Let's just sneak back into the party." He said.

"I can sneak back in but you should go home." Meredith's voice had a hint of fear in it. Fear that they would get caught by someone who would tell the chief and Meredith wasn't as sure as Derek was that Bailey would keep her mouth shut.

"Meredith." He tried reasoning with her, "Everyone else is not going to remember seeing us together and if they do we can just pass it off that they had too much to drink."

"I have to meet the chief tomorrow for popping that glove and now he's going to ask about this. What am I supposed to say?" She started to freak out.

Derek placed his hand on her knee, "No one is going to tell the chief and you and I aren't in the hospital or on-call tonight so what we do in our spare time is our business."

"Not when it comes down to you being my boss." She sighed.

"I'm Bailey's boss too." He stated.

"Oh God." She muttered as she shut her eyes. The fun of the tequila and sex was quickly wearing off.

Derek leaned over and kissed her softly, "Go inside, drink lots of water and take some Tylenol. You'll need it for the hang over in the morning." He smiled, "And don't worry about Bailey. She won't say a word." He promised.

Meredith nodded her head, "OK." She opened the passenger door and stepped onto the sidewalk, "Goodnight Derek." She smiled at him.

"Goodnight Meredith." Derek sat in his car and watched her walk into the house making sure she was safely in before starting the car back up and driving away. He needed to get home and sleep so he could get up early to beat Bailey to work in the morning. He knew she was going to want to talk to him and he was prepared for it. He steered his car towards Seattle Grace instead of home figuring that if he slept at work he would defiantly be able to catch her before all the other interns got there and possibly before the Chief even came in. Derek walked into the hospital with the nights events still on his mind. Tequila and Meredith seemed like good friends. He liked seeing her let loose and let go of her fears if only for a little while. He liked seeing her not as a surgeon but as a woman. He stepped into the elevator and was surprised to see Bailey standing in it as well.

"I'm not going to tell you what I think because I think you know that what you did was wrong. I don't care what you do on your private time but I do care what is going on in my intern's lives. They need clear heads to think and learn. They don't need you clouding their judgment with silly boy problems." She said before Derek could get a word in, "Now I know you are both adults and I'm not going to run to the Chief about it but you need to make sure this isn't affecting work. The moment it does is the moment what you are doing becomes my problem and I don't like other people causing me problems. We clear on that?"

"Dr. Bailey." He started to say. The doors dinged and opened and without another word Bailey was out of the elevator. Derek watched as they closed behind her. He let her words sink in as he waited to get to the next level. He liked Meredith. He liked kissing her, touching her, breathing her. He liked everything there was about Meredith. Being with her was like playing with fire. And what fun is playing with fire if you are afraid to get a little burned?

 


	6. If Tomorrow Never Comes

If Tomorrow Never Comes-Season 1, Episode 6

Meredith sat in Derek's car smiling. She looked down at her hand which was currently being held in Derek's as he drove with his left hand.

"You did good today." He said breaking the silence that had fallen over them.

"Thanks." She said genuinely. They fell back into the comfortable silence. Meredith wondered to herself if this really was a good idea or not but a small squeeze of her hand by Derek reminded her just how much she wanted this. He parked the car on top of a hill overlooking the water. The rain had slowed to a drizzle. Derek walked over to her side of the car and opened her door. She grabbed the bottle of wine and followed him to the trunk of the car. He took out a small blanket, closed the trunk and guided her up the hill a little further. Derek sat down on the wet grass with Meredith between his legs, resting her head against his chest. He wrapped the blanket around the two of them. It didn't do much to keep the couple from getting wet but it did help keep them from freezing. They watched the rain hit the water and the clouds move across the night sky. Derek pressed a kiss to her neck.

Meredith let her head roll back onto his shoulder, "So does this mean we are dating?" She asked him recalling her earlier conversation with Alex.

"Well, I think so. I asked you out, twice. You asked for a ride and then asked me out and now here we are. So I'd say that constitutes as dating." He smiled while pressing more and more kisses to her neck, and face.

She turned her head to look at him, "Hmmm." She sighed softly. She turned slightly so she could wrap her arms around his neck and pull him into a deep kiss, "I'd say I'm thoroughly enjoying dating." She smiled.

"See." He brushed his finger softly over her cheek, "I told you it would be fun."

Meredith laughed softly, "Ah well the fancy neurosurgeon is right once in a while I guess."

Derek laughed and pulled Meredith closer to him trying to keep her warm. He felt the goosebumps under his fingers as his hands rubbed up and down her arms.

"We should probably head back to the car." He said, "Don't want you getting sick out here in the cold."

"No. The sun should be up soon and if I recall you have a thing for ferry boats." She smiled.

"I have a thing for you too." He leaned down to capture her lips with his.

Meredith broke away breathlessly, "Good to know since I am enduring Bailey's wrath for you." She smirked.

"Bailey will cool off in a few days." He hugged Meredith tightly.

"You sure about that?" She asked.

"No but it doesn't stop me from wanting to be here with you." He said. Meredith looked deep into his eyes as he spoke and realized what he said was true. She snuggled deeper into him. The top of the sun started to peek over the horizon.

"Look, a ferryboat." Meredith pointed out. Far to the right Derek could just see the outline of the first ferryboat of the morning, "It's beautiful." Meredith said talking about the sunrise.

"Yea. It sure is." Derek said talking about Meredith. They stay snuggled in each other's arms with the wet blanket covering both of them till the sun was fully up. They watched as each ferryboat docked and unloaded people and cars. Derek lovingly stroked Meredith's hair, placing soft kisses once his hand moved.

"What time is it?" She asked.

"About 4AM." He said checking his watch to be sure.

"C'mon. We should get back to the house. We need some sleep before we go to work." She slowly pulled herself out of his arms.

"I'll drop you off." He said. Derek stood up and extended his hand for Meredith to take.

"No." She used his hand to help get herself on her own two feet.

"No?" He placed the blanket on one arm and wrapped his free arm around her shoulders.

"Stay at my place with me. You can sneak out before George and Izzie see you and this way you get more sleep than if you drop me off and then drive home." The two walked slowly to Derek's car. He opened the door for her, "I mean it's not like you haven't spent the night there before." She said remembering the night they met.

"This is true." He shut her door for her after she sat down, and walked around to the driver's side. He tossed the sopping wet blanket in the back and started the car up. They drove in comfortable silence. Derek let Meredith doze in and out of sleep for the ride to her house. She looked so peaceful when she slept he thought to himself. Once in her driveway he gently shook her to wake her up.

"I hope they are both asleep." Meredith said hoping she wasn't going to have to explain her overnight guest to her nosy roommates.

"You sure you want me to stay?" He asked knowing she didn't want everyone to know about them.

"Yes. I want to sleep next to you and wake up next to you. Even if it's only a little bit of sleep." She slid out of the car, "Come to bed Derek." She picked up her bag and the empty wine bottle and started walking towards her house.

"I'll be quiet. I promise." He said. He silently followed her upstairs to her bedroom, locking the door behind him.

Meredith peeled her wet clothes off and felt his arms slither around her waist, "I thought we were sleeping." She said.

"We can sleep. Just later." He laughed. She spun around in his arms, "Besides, this just means I'll have to buy you coffee." Meredith gently kissed him.

"Coffee sounds really good." She smiled. They made their way to her bed kicking off shoes and peeling off sticky wet clothes along the way. Derek smiled against her skin sending shivers all over her body. Somehow in this moment nothing seemed bad, everything fit. Everything was the right way. They were always supposed to be together like this. Meredith thought. She let herself be pulled in to a sensual world with no consequences. No concept of right and wrong. A world where all she needed to worry about was the moment. This moment with Derek. And nothing was going to take that moment from her.

 


	7. The Self-Destruct Button

The Self-Destruct Button-Season 1, Episode 7

Meredith watched Izzie finish frosting the chocolate cake and move it off the turntable. Meredith walked around the counter towards Izzie.

"Oh my God!" Izzie exclaimed, "You're falling for him!"

"I am not!" Meredith denied.

"You so are." Izzie started to cut a small piece of cake for Meredith.

"No, I'm not." Meredith still denied.

"So are. Damn you poor girl." Izzie said with a smile on her face.

"It's just that he so…I'm so...I'm having a hard time." Meredith sat next to Izzie at the island.

"I know. You're all mushy and warm and full of secret feelings." Izzie handed Meredith the plate with cake on it and sipped her coffee.

"I hate you." Meredith joked, "And your cake."

"Hey. My cake is good." Izzie took another sip of her coffee, "So um how hot is the sex?" She asked with a smile on her face.

"Izzie!" Meredith exclaimed.

"What?! C'mon I'm not getting any. Help a girl out with a few details." She laughed, "It sounds pretty hot."

"I was not  _that_  loud." Meredith took another bite of cake.

"Oh yes you were so if you don't pass out details I'll just have to guess and it sounds animalistic hot." Izzie said, "Does he live up to the McDreamy name?"

"What would that have to do with sex?" Meredith questioned.

"Well, you know. Is he all like 'I have to have you right here right now' and possessive or is it more like 'if you feel good I'll feel good' and all about giving you the attention. Which one?"

"Izzie I don't really want to talk about it."

"Look talk about it with me now so that when George comes home you won't have to answer him. Plus like I said, I'm not getting any. In any form. I just want a few details." She laughed.

"Ok. It's both. He's very tender and gentle but takes charge when he wants to. It's exotic and fun and I'm not  _that_  loud you just hear very well." Meredith confessed.

Izzie snorted a laugh, "Yea. And so does George apparently."

"Do you want details or not?" She said not really wanting to have this conversation but relenting for her friend's sake.

"Oh yes. Continue please." Izzie picked up her now empty mug and rinsed it in the sink.

"Last night was the first night he spent the night. Well sort-of. He spent the night before you guys moved in but that was before I knew he was my boss."

"How did you meet him?" Izzie started picking up the dirty dishes from her baking session and dumping them in the sink.

"At Joe's. Back when I was just a girl in a bar and he was just a guy in a bar." Meredith said reminiscing.

"Oh OK. So this was like some drunken night?" Izzie said.

"It was but now I don't really know what it is." Meredith finished her piece of cake and placed the fork down softly.

"You like him. You like the sex. Is that all there is to it? Sex?" Izzie turned the warm tap on to rinse the baking dishes.

"No. I mean the sex is great but it's not just about the sex. I like going out with him. It's fun." Meredith loaded the dishwasher as Izzie passed her the rinsed dishes.

"So then it's like you are dating?" Izzie asked trying to understand the full relationship.

"Yes I guess. We are dating." Meredith confirmed.

"What about work?" Izzie turned the water off and dried her hands.

"Well I'll just have to deal with it. I'm a big girl and I can handle a little crap from Bailey." Meredith nodded her head.

Izzie grabbed another mug and filled it with water, "I guess. But you know that once everyone knows it's not just Bailey you will have to worry about. It will be the Chief and Burke and George and Alex. Everyone. All the interns already think you have the upper hand being Ellis Grey's daughter. It's just going to get worse when they find out you are sleeping with an attending." Meredith followed Izzie out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

"I know but I guess that's just what you do when you are an adult and are in a relationship with someone." Meredith sighed, "Sometimes you have to be the person to take all the crap. I guess I'm that person right now." Meredith stopped when they got to Izzie's bedroom door.

"I guess. And for the record. Buy a padded headboard and maybe oil the springs or something because I really need sleep for tomorrow if I'm not going to doze off in the locker room during the day." Izzie smiled, "Please." She added.

"I'll see what I can do." Meredith said goodnight to Izzie and headed in the direction of her own room. Derek was supposed to come by after work but got held up late due to a hemispherectomy with George. Meredith could only wonder if George knew as well. She hoped he didn't. She'd like this to not be the biggest gossip news at Seattle Grace but so far it's all anyone has talked about. At least around her. Bailey was so happy today when Izzie got mad at Meredith in the locker room, she could only imagine how Bailey would react to everyone at the hospital knowing that Meredith was the intern sleeping with the attending. She changed into her pajamas when she heard the front door opening. She wanted to see Derek but she was so exhausted from last night and working all day that she just wanted to sleep and she knew that if Derek was here he probably wouldn't just want to sleep. Her bedroom door opened and softly closed. Derek kicked off his shoes and dropped a kiss on top of Meredith's head.

"Hey." He said sitting on the end of the bed unbuttoning his shirt.

"Hey." She said sounding exasperated.

Derek stood up and helped her turn down the blankets, "You know we could just…"

"Sleep?" Meredith finished his sentence.

"Yeah. We could. If...if you want to." He crawled into bed and lied down.

"Yeah?" Meredith looked over to see his eyes already closed. She crawled in next to him and hit her head on the pillow, "Oh thank God." She sighed as she drifted off for some much needed rest.


	8. Save Me

Save Me-Season 1, Episode 8

Meredith sat outside on the small deck in front of Derek's trailer sipping some hot tea. The crickets chirping were the only noises she could hear. Vaguely in the distance she thought she could hear soft sounds of the city. The wind blew gently causing her to snuggle deeper into his sweatshirt she had stolen to wear. Derek had passed out long ago but Meredith just couldn't fall asleep. After dinner and sex, and more sex she just couldn't fall asleep. So much was on her mind. Her mother's wellbeing kept eating away at her. She really wanted to tell Derek where her mother was just so she'd have someone to talk to about. She knew that it was only a matter of time before people found out about her mother. Till they found out she wasn't really traveling or writing another book. That she has Alzheimer's and is in a home. She kept wondering if Derek was ashamed of the trailer and that was the reason he took so long to tell her about it. She surveyed the land before her eyes. It was a huge piece of land. They had talked briefly while eating dinner about what he could do with it. He had mentioned something about maybe a clinic. She suggested building a house. With land this vast he could build a huge house with a guest house. It had the most beautiful view of the city Meredith could even imagine and even had a dock he could fish off of down at the bottom of the hill near a small lake. It was nice and quiet. A house in the woods overlooking the busy city. It was practically a storybook setting. Meredith sipped her tea as her thoughts turned to George and Izzie. They had just accepted that Derek was there every night and that he was an attending. Sure Izzie was OK it but George seemed to be bothered. Like he felt that Meredith was using Derek to get ahead. Maybe she got to scrub in on some cool surgeries because Derek requested her but that sure wasn't the initial reason to continue the relationship. It was like a perk. Meredith stared off into the night sky tracing constellations out of the stars with her eyes. In the city you could never see the stars this clearly. You could see some if you were away from the streetlights and it was a really clear night but nothing compared to what she could see here. The moon even looked brighter and bigger out here in the woods. It was such a beautiful place to be that Meredith found herself thinking about staying here more often just so she could stare into the sky. If she didn't have to be up early she was sure she'd stay up to see the sunrise over the top of the hill. Meredith was sure that it would be spectacular sunrise. Probably a remarkable sunset too she thought to herself. Meredith sat in chair blissfully lost in her thoughts. Inside the trailer Derek's hand wandered over to the cold pillow on the opposite side of the bed. He lifted his sleepy head up and looked around the trailer. Not seeing Meredith he sat up a bit. Derek looked out the window and noticed her sitting outside. He grabbed a blanket, threw on a shirt and went outside to join her. Derek silently sat next to her just watching her. Meredith barely acknowledged him with a small smile. The two sat outside in a comfortable silence. Meredith's thoughts on their relationship and Derek's thoughts on how sexy she looked wearing his sweatshirt.

"The sky is so pretty tonight." Meredith mused out loud.

"It's beautiful." He replied.

"I never realized how much you really can't see from the city." She said, with her eyes still on the night sky.

Derek nodded his head, "That's why I can't decide what to do with this land." He turned his head towards her, "I don't want to disrupt the beauty of it too much."

"I think a house would be perfect. You are going to need somewhere besides the trailer eventually." She said sipping her tea again.

"True." He softly said. In truth though he wanted to tell her they always had her house but decided against it. Even in the little time they have been together he knew that she was not a commitment type girl. It was part of her that he loved to chase after. But he knew when to push that button and right now was not the time.

"Why did it take you this long to bring me out here?" She asked.

"Well it's just that…I don't know really." He said trying to figure that answer out for himself, "I just figured we were good at your place." He placed his hand on top of hers, "Was I really there a whole week?" He asked still not believing George and Izzie.

"Yea. I'm pretty sure George and Izzie just figured you had moved in." She smiled. Meredith got up from her chair and walked over to his, "C'mon. I'm tired and you have an early craniotomy in the morning."

"So you are remembering my schedule?" He laughed softly.

"I'm hoping to watch. I figured maybe if I talked to the attending and asked really nicely." She leaned down and placed a sultry kiss on his lips, "Maybe the attending would be so kind as to let me scrub in." She flirted.

"Hmm…Would you be trying to seduce me for a surgery?" He stood, taking the blanket under one arm.

"Maybe." She walked in the trailer and tossed his sweatshirt back at him.

Derek grabbed the sweatshirt and followed her to his bed, smiling all the way. He was ecstatic that she hadn't turned and walked away when he showed her the trailer. Here she was, naked in his bed just waiting for him and at the moment he couldn't be happier.

 


	9. Who's Zoomin Who?

Who's Zoomin Who?-Season 1, Episode 9

Meredith walked into the scan room as the Chief walked out, "You paged?" She asked Derek.

He placed the phone down, "Yeah. I need you to help me out on something for the Chief. Can you keep a secret?"

"Better than you think." Meredith laughed at the irony of his question.

"OK. Good. This is totally secret and no one can know about it." He said, "Close the door."

"What's up?" She said doing as he asked.

"The Chief needs surgery. See this here?" Derek pointed to the MRI scan on the light board, "He has a tumor pressing against his optic nerve. It's causing temporary blindness, fuzziness, and headaches."

Meredith studied the MRI, "So that's why he dropped the retractor today." She muttered.

"Exactly." Derek turned towards her, "He wants to keep this under the radar. We need a team but it can't be aired out to everyone. Can you talk to Bailey and see if she can help out. Surgery is at 7PM and should be about four hours or so. Make sure you stress that she can't tell anyone."

"Yeah, I can do that." Meredith said.

"Great. Thank you." Derek stood in front of her. He brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. Meredith glanced at the door to make sure no one was near it before sliding her hands around his neck and pulling him down for a quick kiss. Derek inhaled deeply smelling the lavender shampoo he loved so much. Meredith hopped up on the table behind her and pulled Derek with her. His lips left a trail of kisses from her mouth down to her neck and back again. She sighed softly as she became more and more aroused by him. Meredith's pager went off reminding her she was still working.

"We don't have time for this." She smiled wishing they  _did_  have the time.

"Alright." Derek said reluctantly. He gave her one last lingering kiss before releasing her from his grasp, "Later, we'll have time." He promised.

"Defiantly later." She smiled as she exited the room leaving Derek alone. She met up with Cristina in the hallway.

"Hey." Meredith greeted, "You don't look so good. You OK?" She asked. Cristina looked pale and clammy.

"Yea. Some stomach bug or something." Cristina said desperately trying to keep her pregnancy a secret.

"Maybe you should lie down." Meredith said.

"I would but I can't. I'm swamped with labs and I just took a nap a little while ago." Cristina dropped a few charts off at the nurse's station. Meredith's phone rang for what seemed like the millionth time that day. Checking the caller ID she sent the call directly to voicemail, "You've been doing that a lot today." Cristina noted.

"I have not." She denied.

"Yea you have. I've seen you do it almost all day. Any time your phone rings today you keep not answering it. Who's calling you?" Cristina asked wanting to keep her health off the topic list.

"No one. Just someone I don't want to deal with right now." Meredith said.

"OK." Cristina muttered as they rounded a corner towards the elevators.

"Hey have you seen Bailey?" Meredith pushed the up button.

"Not recently. Last time I saw her she was near the stairs on the third floor." Cristina said watching the doors open and stepping inside, "Why?" She inquired.

"No reason. Just need to ask her something." Meredith pushed the button for the third floor.

"You're acting weird." Cristina noticed.

"I am not." Meredith said. The two looked at each other realized they both were keeping secrets from the other one. The elevator doors opened revealing the third floor, "I have to go." Meredith said as she quickly exited leaving Cristina wondering what she was hiding. The doors were just about to close when Meredith's hand appeared to stop them from closing. She entered and pressed the button for the fourth floor.

"What are you doing?" Cristina asked clearly confused.

"I was just paged upstairs by the Chief." She explained. As if on cue Cristina's pager went off sending her to the same place as Meredith.

"Weird." She commented, "I wonder what this is about." She clipped her pager back to her scrub pants. The two women exited the elevator and walked down the corridor to the lecture room. With every step they took they noticed more and more people headed in their direction.

"Did something happen?" Meredith wondered out loud.

"I don't know but everyone surgical was paged here." Said Izzie who popped in behind Meredith and Cristina.

"Is that a banana?" Cristina commented. Meredith looked over and saw the Chief standing up front waiting for everyone to come in the room. Bailey was sitting up front. George and Alex slid in the room and took a seat up front as well.

"What the Hell is going on?" Meredith asked her friends softly.

"Alright, people. People." The Chief said trying to get everyone's attention, "I cannot believe I have to have you all here for this." He muttered, "Three interns, four residents, and six nurses on this surgical floor have been diagnosed with syphilis."

"There are over seventy-thousand new cases every year." Said Patricia, "Undiagnosed, syphilis can lead to blindness, insanity and death."

"If you are having unprotected sex with another member of the staff get tested it is not a request Patricia will now give you a safe sex demonstration." He said begrudgingly Meredith watched as he walked to the side of the room to talk to Derek.

Patricia stood up holding the banana and condom, "When the time is right and you all know when that time is. Carefully open the condom packet and roll it onto the banana." She said.

"This is like health class in high school all over again." Cristina laughed quietly next to Meredith.

"He didn't say attendings did he?" Meredith asked silently praying that Derek wasn't sleeping with anyone else.

"Well, have you and Derek made rules about it?" Cristina asked honestly.

"No but…I mean he sleeps over practically every night. Even George and Izzie can tell you what he eats for breakfast every morning." Meredith said.

"What about the nights he doesn't sleep over?" Cristina said watching George's reactions to the demonstration.

"I don't know." Meredith admitted. Meredith was about to say something else when she caught Derek's eyes focused on hers.

"Open communication is essential to a healthy relationship." Patricia said, "In a responsible relationship both men and women are responsible for the condoms. We have them on the gynecological floor for free and in the ER. I also have a bowl of them here for you to take with you should you need them. Testing will be in the blood lab immediately following this demonstration." She said.

"Poor George." Meredith said softly. She had noticed his ears turning red through the whole demonstration.

"Yeah. I think he really likes Typhoid Mary." Cristina snickered.

"Not many budding relationships survive a healthy dose of VD." Meredith muttered.

"Yeah." Cristina agreed wondering about her own relationship with Burke.

"Yeah." Meredith looked around for Derek only to see that he had disappeared. She'd have to catch up with him later.

"Gently peel off the condom and dispose of it properly." Patricia said taking the condom off the banana, "With every fresh banana use a fresh condom." She concluded her demonstration and dismissed them.

"That was physically painful." Cristina said.

"I have to go. I've got to grab Bailey while I can." Meredith said running off to catch Bailey leaving Cristina behind to worry about VD testing, pregnancy and Burke.

 


	10. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head-Season 2, Episode 1

Meredith stomped out of the hospital still reeling from finding out Derek was married when she heard him yelling at her from behind.

"Meredith!" He chased her down.

"Go away!" She yelled back.

"Just wait. We should discuss this." He pleaded.

"Here's a thought. No! Quit following me!" She hollered as she tried to leave the hospital.

"At least let me explain." He begged.

"Explain? You know when you should have explained? The night we met in the bar. Before any of the rest of it. Yeah, that would have been a good time to discuss it." She said stepping out into the pouring rain.

"Look, I know how you feel." He said.

"Do you? Somehow I doubt that. Because if you did, you would shut up, and you would turn around and go back inside, because you would realize that I am this close to getting in my car and running you down in the parking lot!" She screamed.

"Meredith! Stop!" He yelled back, "I was going to tell you." He grabbed her arm to stop her from running off.

"Oh really? When?" Tears started forming in the corner of her eyes.

"Tonight. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He stepped closer to her.

"Of course you were. How inconvenient that you were going to tell me you were married the same night your wife shows up." She wiped the falling tears from her eyes, "Bullshit! You're just trying to cover your ass." She pushed herself away from him.

"Meredith." He reached for her again.

"Get away from me! How could you do that to me?" She yelled at him.

"Meredith I didn't intend to hurt you." He said honestly.

"Well it looks like you did." Meredith headed for her car.

"Meredith, I'm sorry." He reached for her once again, "Please stay and talk to me."

"No." She yanked herself out of his grasp.

"I can explain." He sighed loudly.

"Explain? Oh yeah? Explain how this slipped your mind when you were sleeping next to me. Explain how you kept this a secret for this long. Explain what your wife is doing here right now. Explain how you just couldn't tell me you were married before having sex with me. Even that I can forgive it as a one night stand but explain how you chased me and wanted to date me without telling me about her. You said earlier that this would classify as a relationship well how do you think a relationship can stand when one person in that relationship is married!" She yelled not caring who heard her.

"Meredith, please stop and listen to me." He begged.

"No! I don't want to talk to you! I don't want to listen to you! I just want to go the Hell home and not deal with you anymore! I can't do it! You chased me, you wanted me and you belong to her." Meredith stumbled slightly, "You can't start a relationship on a total lie like this."

Derek took a step towards her, "I never lied to you."

"It's a lie by omission." She clarified. She started towards her car once more, stumbling along the way.

"You can't drive like this." He said concerned about her altered state of mind. He was worried she'd do something she'd regret by getting behind the wheel of her car. As much as she didn't see it, he still cared for her and didn't want her in any danger.

"You don't get to tell me a damn thing!" She tried to storm off, "If you ever cared about me at all, you can just leave me the Hell alone!" Meredith pushed Derek away once again and started walking towards her car.

George came running out of Seattle Grace towards Meredith with an open umbrella, "Meredith, give me your keys." He said holding the umbrella over both of them. He hadn't seen the whole thing but he knew that she was upset and drunk and shouldn't be driving.

"I'm fine!" She yelled as she ran to her car. Derek stood back in the rain watching George try to help Meredith. All Derek could think about is how much hurt he had caused her. He should have told her about Addison. He should have said something before they started to get serious. Now he had burned not only Meredith but himself and Addison.

"Meredith! Give me your keys!" George said more abruptly, "Let's go home." He said taking her keys from her hands gently. He opened the passenger side door for her and walked around the car to the other side.

Meredith got in the passenger side of her car and slammed the door shut, "I cannot believe him! How could he not tell me he's married? Such a jackass!" She vented. She put her head in her hands trying to wish away the drunken migraine that was starting to overtake her.

"Would it make you feel any better to know that Izzie called him a bastard earlier?" George slid into the driver's seat and started up the car. He kicked the heat on high and pointed the vents towards Meredith who sat there soaked to the bone.

"When did that happen?" She asked drunkenly.

"Right after Joe was admitted." George pulled the car out of the parking spot and headed in the direction of Meredith's house. Once there George opened the door for her. Meredith ran upstairs as fast as she could. She shut her bedroom door and slumped to the floor against it.

The tears threatened to spill over once again. How could this happen to her? How could Derek not tell her that he was married? Who keeps a secret like that? Meredith crawled up to her bed and rolled in it fully clothed. She figured she'd shower in the morning. She'd deal with Derek in the morning. She'd handle her messed up twisted life in the morning. Right now she just wanted the buzz to help her fall asleep.

 


	11. Enough Is Enough(No More Tears)

Enough Is Enough (No More Tears)-Season 2, Episode 2

Meredith stood in the gallery watching Derek and George operating on the tumor. She wished she was down there with him just to be in the same room as him and not be fighting. Earlier today George had made a great discovery finding the organ donor was still alive. George was elated when Shepherd had found out the tumor was operable. Now Meredith stood watching the surgery. Watching a miracle take place. This girl was getting her life back thanks to Derek and George. And all Meredith could dwell on was how crappy her life was. How twisted and screwed up she was. Meredith sighed and sat down in one of the front row chairs. She watched as Derek's hands intricately dissected the tumor. His gentle hands that once ran through her hair so lovingly, hands that were so agile when they lay in bed, were now working to save a young girls life. Meredith tried to push the thoughts of Derek's hands out of her head but she couldn't stop the onslaught of memories flooding her brain. She thought about the first time they met. She went through the whole night step by step in her mind trying to see if there was ever a time he could have said he was married but didn't or if she cut him off when he tried to get personal. She thought over the past two months and how she slept next to him for days and woke up next to him almost every morning and not one word was uttered about his marriage. He spent so many nights at her house it wasn't unusual for him to be there for almost a week or a little over a week. He had slept next to her and made love to her so many nights and still not one word about marriage or Addison was spoken to her. When she had asked him about his life he told her about his sister, his family, and showed her his trailer and land but still nothing about Addison. And it's not like Meredith could really hate Addison. Sure she had been the one to cheat on Derek but that didn't warrant him not telling Meredith about it before they started to get into a relationship. A relationship that he said they were in. She didn't put that label on him. He put it on her.

Meredith looked into the OR to see George working closely with Derek. The speaker was turned off so she couldn't hear what was being said so she just assumed they were talking about the tumor or surgery until they both looked up at her at the same moment. It was then that she knew they were talking about her. ' _Oh God what if George is down there trying to step in and tell Derek to back off?'_  She thought, ' _Or what if Derek is down there trying to get George to talk to her so she'd take Derek back?_ ' She wasn't quite sure which would be worse.

Meredith wasn't sure what she was going to do. Derek had told her this morning that Addison means nothing to him anymore but he had to be hiding the marriage for a reason. And why weren't they divorced yet? Why were they still married if she really means nothing to him? If that's the case then wouldn't he have gotten the divorce finalized by now or at least had the papers drawn up? Maybe they were just separating and she was just his revenge. She scowled at the thought that he could have used her that way. But then again if she was revenge why would he have shown her the trailer? Why would he have slept with her over and over again? Talked to her friends at breakfast time? Watched movies with everyone after a long hard day at work? No that couldn't be it. Maybe he just needed something to compare Addison to. If that was the case Addison won. Not only was Addison all leggy, and a knock-out she was mature in ways that Meredith wasn't. Addison was the girl you bring home to meet the family. Addison was the woman you married and had kids with. Meredith was just the drunk party girl you called when you needed to scratch an itch. Meredith was the good looking girl you didn't mind waking up to but knew you wouldn't have to commit to.

Meredith rubbed her temples with her thumbs as she silently sat in the gallery. What if Derek had just told her from the beginning? Would she have still slept with him? Would she have continued the relationship? Would she have pushed him for more personal information? Meredith wasn't sure she was going to be that honest with herself yet. She looked down to George and Derek and noticed them staring at her again. If anything they needed to stop talking about her and keep their focus on the patient. The woman who had a life to save. A life that wasn't all screwed up with boy problems and boss problems and red-headed leg problems. Meredith stood slowly watching as the last bit of tumor was taken out of the patient's brain. Derek quickly went to work controlling any excess bleeding and closing the patient up. Meredith didn't want to bump into him again today. She wasn't sure that she could handle it. Addison had tried to talk to Meredith but she knew she didn't want to talk to her either. She hated her on principle because she was married to Derek and because she cheated on him and that must have really hurt him. But as the day wore on Meredith found it really hard to hate someone who she barely even knew and who seemed like a nice enough person. Addison had told Meredith that sometimes people do desperate things to gain someone else's attention. As she left the gallery she wondered what desperate thing she would have to do to get Derek to notice her again.

 


End file.
